Madame Librarian
by lightmylumiere
Summary: A character study of Marian Paroo and her life before and after Harold Hill. Rating might change later. R&R. Chapter One: Marian's past.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note:_**_ Hi! I'm new to the Music Man fandom, although I have loved the show since I was a little girl. Recently I was cast as Marian Paroo in the Music Man, and I am doing a character study and... well... this is it. Please review, and let me know if I should be adding something I'm missing? Again, I'm new here and I want to get an accurate read of Marian as a character. Thank you!_

Lessons in Love

I see all these people in love everywhere. I just don't understand it. I'm afraid I never have. Sure, when I was younger I saw my mama and daddy and they were married and happy and more in love than any two I had ever seen, and I am likely to ever see again. The way mama smiled at daddy was the brightest smile and it could illuminate the house. Daddy looked at mama with the happiest look on his face, and I dreamed someone would look at me that way, one day.

Mama always wanted grandchildren, I knew that from the time Winthrop was born. I guess mama figured he wasn't getting any grandchildren from me anytime soon, so she and daddy had another baby. Daddy didn't care, he was happy that he had a new son. I was sixteen when Winthrop was born, and my friends were rushing in and out of love theirselves. I figured that love came when people were older, like mama and daddy's age, so I didn't worry about it.

Daddy got sick around the time Uncle Maddy moved back to town. Miser Madison, that's what everyone else seemed to call him, came to town with a ton of money and no one to share it with. He was a writer, but not a well known one. He had a fancy typewriter, left it to me in his will. Oh, and he had some amazing stories to tell! He told me and Winthrop (but he was very little, so he doesn't remember) about he and daddy when they were little. For a while I didn't know he was talking about daddy, because he called daddy "Wilson" and everyone I heard refer to him called him "Mr. Paroo". Uncle Maddy told me about how daddy used to play the saxophone and he played the piano, and they'd play at parties. Apparently that's how daddy met mama. At a party. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that they met at a party that daddy was playing for. Mama had Uncle Maddy teach me to play piano so that I could play for daddy, and daddy loved it. He only wished he could grab his saxophone and play along, like he had when I was a little girl when Uncle Maddy came to visit.

Uncle Maddy was never in love. He told me so himself when I watched out the window as my former best friend, Ellen, canoodled in the street with the boy who sat in front of me at school. "Love isn't the most important thing in the world, Marian." He told me and smiled. "Do you know what does matter? Family. Friends. Knowledge. Have those and you have the keys to happiness, dear." I never told mama that, but I lived by that code.

Daddy got sicker, and mama tried to distract herself a little less. The laundry was my job, and the dishes and the garden. Mama had to spend time with daddy and Winthrop and I. I was twenty one, and single. Uncle Maddy hadn't lived with us since Winthrop was born five years back, so people just knew him as the rich single man with the thick mustache who invited the little blonde girl to his house every evening. And I went. It was harmless, he got me out of the house and he taught me to catalog books (he was opening a library and he wanted me to work there) and play piano and how to tell when someone was a crook. Crooks always tried to get into River City and rip us off. But not on my watch. Money was tight with daddy being sick, but Uncle Maddy paid our bills and did give me a job at the library.

Daddy passed away the next year. He told me, one of the last things he said, was that hopefully I'd have a family one day and I'd really be happy then. He didn't realize I was happy then, but I knew what he meant. Everyone my age had a fellow, even if they weren't married (most were). I had the library, and mama and daddy and Winthrop and Uncle Maddy. Daddy was gone, so Uncle Maddy and I supported the family for real. The sobering death of daddy left me in the library, checking the catalogues through my tears and halting my look for love altogether.

Years flew, and daddy wasn't meant to stay on this earth forever. He was much older than mama, over ten years older. Uncle Maddy tried to console mama, but she was inconsolable. No matter what he said, or did, one fact didn't change: the only things that made mama happy were me and Winthrop. Winthrop was six then. Things had changed a lot in those four years.

Uncle Maddy was older than daddy by a little bit, so I should've known if daddy didn't live forever neither could Uncle Maddy. I was at Uncle Maddy's when he passed, having a heart attack in his chair while I practiced the piano. That's when the rumors started flying about the two of us, because in his will he left me the library and his piano and typewriter (the townspeople only cared about the first, because they didn't need to know about the other two). Eventually they settled that I was having an affair with Uncle Maddy. Oh, the thought of that made me sick! My Uncle Maddy, and me? I kept to my library, and my only close friend Ethel, who was also single (and older than me, living with her uncle who owned the livery stables) and viewed as strange. She started to believe the rumors too, and I was left alone in my library full of books.

But I'm adaptable. Even after Ethel quit talking to me I still had friends. Book characters were my friends, my love for knowledge continued. I grew closer to mama, and I used to be much closer to daddy than mama. Mama and I had two things in common: daddy was the best friend either of us ever had, and we both wanted what was best for Winthrop. Winthrop had trouble speaking, so I tried to get him to read with me but he was reluctant. He loved to play, like little boys do, and I didn't know how to bond with my mute brother.

It took mama a while to notice that Ethel and I weren't friends. She didn't really care, she wasn't the biggest fan of Ethel or her uncle, but she wished I could have had some real friends. But I didn't have time for friends, or love, or anything really. Money was tight still, the library needed its librarian, and I wanted to spend time with mama and Winthrop while they- and I- were still here. Mama started to play matchmaker around my twenty third birthday, when Marcellus Washburn became the first newcomer in town since Uncle Maddy. He was much older than me, and he heard the rumors about me from Ethel, who only added to the rumors. Ethel fell in love with him and convinced her uncle to give Marcellus a job. Even though Ethel and I weren't close anymore, I was happy to see that she had found love.

Mama's heart still wanted me to fall in love, but I kept Uncle Maddy's words close to heart. I started teaching piano lessons to have a little extra money, and I wrote whenever I had the chance. I wrote the stories Uncle Maddy used to tell me so that I could read them to Winthrop sometime. Mama dusted off daddy's saxophone which she kept by the piano, unused since the day he passed. She never touched any of daddy's old things, never even cleared out his dresser drawers. Of course it wasn't my business, but I knew she missed him dearly. She told me, "Find a husband your own age, dear, and don't let him go… heaven forbid, don't wait until it's too late to marry a man!" I didn't exactly follow that plan, because the men she suggested for me were strange and just wrong for me. Mama continued to try pushing me with men, but she accepted my piano lessons and library work as acceptable until I fell in love.

Winthrop's ninth birthday came and went, and he was still as shy as ever. Mama and Winthrop came to the library to help me with some spring cleaning, but Winthrop just sat at my desk and ran his finger along the dust of my old (and rather disorganized) catalogue. I wanted to give him a birthday present that might get him moving and doing something, help him find some school friends and maybe bust him out of his shyness. Mama didn't mind when I got him the puppy, I told her about it first, and Winthrop enjoyed the company of the dog. The dog was now the thing he was closest to, but as much as it irritated mama I understood. Dogs (or fictional characters) couldn't judge you.

Maud Dunlop, one of Ethel's new friends, heard that I was the piano teacher in town and she wanted her daughter to take piano. I was surprised that Ethel mentioned me, since she was so proud of her 'pianola', and I knew how much the ladies hated me. But Mrs. Dunlop put that hate behind her long enough to get her daughter Amaryllis into learning a life skill. It took the little girl a while to get the hang of it, but eventually she caught on. Once she started crushing on Winthrop she practiced even harder. She had the dedication of any piano student I would ever want to have. But it wasn't until she called me an "old maid" that I realized something.

I was twenty six, lived with my mama, and was the friendless librarian that gave piano.

I was following Uncle Maddy's advice, and I was going to end up just like him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**__ I'm back! Thank you to __showtunediva__ for reviewing, and I do hope that others are reading my character study/analysis.  
I am coming towards the end of my first week of blocking rehearsal (eek! So excited, got almost every scene done!) and had my first rehearsal with "Mama" today, so it's great! We designed our house set, so we'll hear a little more about the Paroo house in this chapter.  
Italics indicate a flashback. This chapter, we will meet Professor Harold Hill. The descriptions of the characters are based on my current cast, do forgive. Please review._

A Man

A man with a suitcase. That was all he was to me, a man with a suitcase that followed me around just like all the men mama tried to set me up with before. But this one was new, I had never seen him. I saw right through his act, though, he wasn't getting to me. I entered the house like he didn't matter at all, knowing mama watched pretending to "dust" the window seat. No, this time she wasn't getting the satisfaction of me trying to be nice to a suitor. This one was too far.

Mama tried to play off that she was helping Amaryllis with her piano lesson, and maybe she was for a while. I couldn't get the man off of my mind, I knew in my heart of hearts he was somewhat familiar, but I didn't know how… Amaryllis was a half step above where she was supposed to be in her music, and that brought me back.

No matter what Mama was about to lecture me about (as she did any time I arrived home late from the library, or if she saw me with any man), that note needed to be tended to, and it would be before I'd even think about that man again.

Mama gave her same lecture, same as always, and Amaryllis concluded her warm-up. She went to go get a drink, and mama just looked at me with that all too familiar look in her eyes, the look of "I know you're not happy, don't lie to me Marian, I really care". Mama always cared about my happiness, sometimes a little more than I wanted her to. Those brown eyes always wanted to see the kindness she remembered from her marriage, she wanted to see them through me. I wasn't meant for that. But I did want to please mama.

Even after Winthrop came in and was asked to Amaryllis' party (which he turned down quickly, and she went to play her cross-hand piece after our brief conversation), I couldn't get that man out of my head. He was just a travelling man… wasn't he?

. . .

_Marcellus sat in the library and they were just talking aimlessly… him and Ethel. I wasn't really _in_ the conversation, but I was the librarian, and I listened. Ethel always met him at the library, I never understood why. He was telling her about his life, and about his old buddy Greg, pulling out a small tattered photograph of a dark haired boy with light blue eyes and a black suit._

_Ethel left the picture with Ethel, showing himself to actually be quite sentimental and amorous for a man that always met "his girl" at the library. Ethel couldn't stop blabbering about him, and perhaps I was jealous of that. She always looked so happy with him… I wanted her to be happy, but I wanted love like that too. And who knows, if she hadn't told Marcellus about me just being the "stuck-up librarian who taught piano" he could've introduced me to his mysterious buddy Greg._

. . .

I got a better look at this mystery man when he followed me to the library the next day. That man was a spellbinder, the mayor said it himself (of course, Mayor Shinn said it in his own terms, pointing a long skinny finger at the travelling salesman when his words didn't convey what he wanted them to). He even got the school board agreeing on things. Mrs. Shinn and her ladies (an interesting crew, dressed in frivolous outfits) couldn't stop twittering about the band long enough for me to cut in. They wouldn't have wanted me to anyways. Mrs. Shinn may have been small and much older than me (and mama too, for that matter), but she was a black woman with a stronger personality than I think I could've handled.

The man, Professor Harold Hill as he introduced himself, had crystal blue eyes and neatly kept brown hair. He dressed sharply, but there was something about him that didn't seem right…

For one, he followed me to the library.

For another, he came into the library the next day talking about "the sadder but wiser girl". What did that even mean? He caused a ruckus in my library, my blessed haven Uncle Maddy gave me, and even encouraged disobedient behavior from Zaneeta Shinn. Zaneeta was a good girl, I knew all too well because of her uptight mother and her towering shadow of a father, and Tommy was bad for her as far as I could see. The professor was bad for this town, and I could tell. He came into the library with a bag of marbles (the horror!) which turned out not to be _marbles_ at all, but rather a _marshmallow_! And he had the gall to shove it into my mouth and _kiss_ me! Oh, if I told mama she would have rolled over and died! I wanted the professor to know what he did was wrong, so I wanted to let him know the same way I would have let Ed or Luther know: a good slap in the face. Only I didn't know that Tommy was in the way…

My face was redder than the stripes on the American flag. But the man didn't stop there. He met my mama. My mama loved him from the second she first saw him! Of course she was, everyone seemed to be. But his claims didn't add up. What was he hiding? No one put on as big of a spectacle as he did just to sell a few instruments…

But Winthrop liked the idea of a band. I was torn between wanting to find out the professor's dirty secret and wanting my brother to be happy. There was no in between anymore for things like that.

. . .

_Ethel and I sat in my room, working on our homework. We were told we had to write a story for class about our future. Ethel had tons of ideas: how many kids she'd have, what her husband would do for a living… she had had more time to think about it, and it never made sense to me why different age students sometimes had the same assignments. Mama was pregnant with Winthrop then, and I wasn't in much of a mood for deciding anything about my own future. "Why don't you write about your husband? Or your kids?" Ethel suggested, but I shook my head._

"_I think I'll focus on being a sister before being a mother." I giggled, but Ethel didn't find it funny. I was nearly sixteen, old enough I should've been thinking about marriage. But I wasn't. Mama was having a baby, and daddy wasn't in best of health. I needed to be there for my family, I had no doubt in my mind about that._

_Ethel continued to suggest things. "Well how about your husband _interacting _with your baby brother or sister?" Ethel was really hooked on the whole __**being in love**__ thing. I wasn't. "Certainly he will, and the kid'll still be a toddler for sure. You're too pretty to stay single long."_

_I couldn't help but giggle again at that. I was short, with honey blonde hair that curled slightly and I almost always wore up, with a somewhat curvy but slim figure. I had forest green eyes and smirking pink lips, nothing truly special or pretty about me. Ethel, rail thin with long dark hair and deep brown eyes, always told me I was pretty but she was always the prettier one in the eyes of most boys. Maybe because she was older. "All I know is that he'll love music. And books. He'll be plain and modest and gentle… and we'll live together in a cottage in Iowa."_

"_You got it all thought out, I guess." Ethel let out a fake laugh, but I wasn't amused. I just told her what I wanted, and she found it funny? I peeked out my door because I thought I heard mama call me, but she hadn't. "Write about that white knight of yours, then let's go eat some chicken pot pie. I'm starving!"_

. . .

Sitting in mama's big comfy sofa chair working on my embroidery, I couldn't stop thinking about that day with Ethel all that time ago and Professor Hill. Winthrop blatted away on his new shiny cornet and my mind wouldn't stop thinking about the blue eyed professor.

Was he the "white knight" I was waiting for, or was I just so ready to be in love that he became one?


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**__ this is the last installment of my character study, and is the conclusion of Madame Librarian. Today we work "Till There Was You" (I tear up every time I hear that song, and I can't wait to hear me and Harold together) and the scene before, so I'll focus on second act Marian. There might be an epilogue to my character study, focusing on post-MM Marian, but I don't know. Please review, let me know how I'm doing and how you liked it!_

Breaking My Rules

I had always lived by Uncle Maddy's rules on love until I actually thought I fell. Professor Hill, we weren't on first name basis or anything, but he made me feel different than anyone had ever made me feel before. Mama said I smiled more, and I had the biggest smile when Winthrop told me about "Harold".

Professor Hill had me dance the "Shipoopi" with him. To this day, I still don't know what the Shipoopi is, but we danced and apparently I danced "like a fairy princess". Mrs. Shinn and her ladies all came to tell me how cute I was with Professor Hill, even Ethel gave me a kind smile like I hadn't seen from her since daddy died. The ladies were forgiving of my supposed past with Uncle Maddy, but they still didn't know anything about it.

There was no doubt in my mind, what I felt for Professor Hill was stronger than anything I ever felt. Mama wanted me to go after the man, and I couldn't argue with her. What was I so afraid of?

I had to face my fears when Charlie Cowell came to town. Oh god, I hated that man from the second I saw him! He was the epitome of a traveling salesman, tall and thick with a strong jaw and dark eyes, a man who looked like he could fight anyone who told him he was wrong. I couldn't afford for him to spread rumors about Professor Hill, the professor couldn't leave yet! I had to tell him... to tell him...

Charlie's lips met mine in a desperate attempt to make him late for his train. I felt so violated even though I was the one that pulled him in. Mama watched from the window, probably hoping that the tall salesman was actually Professor Hill (even though, in all honesty, it was impossible to compare the two seeing as Charlie was almost a foot taller than the professor). I could almost feel her smile through the lace curtains. The sick feeling in my stomach only got worse when Charlie mentioned the professor's 102 other women. Did I want to be number 103? Could I fall OUT of love with him?

But Professor Hill came up on the porch and I couldn't help but listen to him! Even if at the beginning I didn't want to hear him, I couldn't stop listening. And then he asked me to the footbridge- I had dreamed most of my life about being asked to the footbridge! Fifteen minutes, I had fifteen minutes to get ready to meet him down by the footbridge.

I tugged my hair out of its bun and let the curls cascade down my shoulders and back. My party dress was much nicer than what I usually wore, and it was the prettiest shade I had ever seen! I ran down the stairs and out towards Madison Picnic Park to the footbridge. It wasn't until now that I realized that the footbridge wasn't all that its reputation built it to be: it wasn't a right of passage, it was a footbridge and nothing more. But standing on it, with Professor Hill in front of me, I saw why people considered it to be such a big deal as it was.

With a lump in my throat, I told him how I felt. The way the light fit the mood I was sure glad I did so, and that I didn't let the anvil salesman's words get to me. It couldn't have gone any smoother, I thought, when I first called him by his name. Harold, not professor or mister. He was right in front of me, exposed, and he was just Harold.

He followed me home. I don't know what I expected, since that's how we met, but I heard that anvil salesman talking to him and a fist knocking a jaw. I came outside to find Charlie on the ground, and a menacing look in Harold's eyes. Whatever had just happened, it couldn't stop the angry townspeople from rushing in on all sides. Harold caught Winthrop in his arms, tears in my baby brother's eyes, and he said the phrase I would've agreed with had it been said a few weeks sooner.

"I wish you'd never came to River City." A part of me wanted to agree, but I couldn't. I was thankful that Harold came to town. A part of Winthrop was too, I could see it in his eyes. He looked up to Harold. I took Winthrop in my arms, and expressed how much he had changed. I had never heard my little brother talk as much as he did now, or play his cornet the first couple weeks he had it. He was like a different child, and I a new woman. All thanks to Harold, a simple salesman who was anything but a band director.

Harold was arrested that night. I got glances from Ethel and Mrs. Shinn and the other ladies as I went in behind him, hands entwined. Harold was my first true love, and he told me he loved me too! It was my turn to do the right thing for him, petitioning to have him released and not tarred and feathered (as Mayor Shinn, the gangly buffoon, suggested). With a sharp tone, I told them all about the imaginary band and what it did for us. That was when the whistle blew, and Tommy led my baby brother and many of the boys out into the room to play. It was absolute cacophony, surely, but it touched the hearts of everyone there that day.

It took me until that day to realize why Uncle Maddy told me that there were more important things than love. If I had been looking for love, I would've never found Harold. Mama and I wouldn't have grown close, Winthrop would've never come out of his shell, and I would've never made up with Ethel or any of the ladies. That spellbinding cymbal salesman changed my life, and if it hadn't been for Uncle Maddy's guidance I may have never met him.


End file.
